Now I know

It's been 20 months since I'm a mother. I have my share of ups and downs... and I'm sure this feeling of motherhood will last me a long long time.. but it's only recently, in fact this week that the meaning of Motherhood hits me hard.

All these while Baby D maybe a stubborn girl but still she is a happy girl.. a bit of reasoning, a bit of bribing, she will still listen to us. But this week, she caught the flu virus bad and it isn't her first time that she caught it.

It was so bad that she had high fever.. the moment baby D has high fever, all she wants is just Mama. I can't leave her sight to make milk nor prepare the medicine. It seems that only my presence can calm her.. my voice can sooth her and my hugs and kisses can heal her.

It is this notation that makes me think that Motherhood is really wonderful. I'm still in awe that this little human being is soo independent and yet so dependant on Mama. How long will baby D be dependant on me till? All these will go away the moment she has grown up. Some day it will reach to point when my voice can't sooth her nor my hugs and kisses has magical kisses.

I may complain that I dun have time for myself and it is tough to juggle between a wife, full time working adult and a mother.

Babies dun keep. I'm just gonna increase my patience level and enjoy this journey!

Xoxoxo
Felicia

Friendship

As I grow older, got married and have a family. I wonder if I will still have my friends with me?

I not the kind of person who have alots of friends.. those who I called good friends (aka sisters kinds) are just a handful. I'm thankful that I have 2 good sisters whom I've been contacting since Secondary School days.. they are my oldest friends.

Next batch of friends are the ones that I've made during my working days. These group of girls are the only ones who are I really hang out with and meet up often. But recently I felt that one of them have fall out of grid.. Felt sad that best friends has become strangers.

Well, life still lives on. At least now I know who are my true friends.

Xoxoxo
Felicia

Motherhood vs Just Me?

Now that I'm a mother.. I can start to feel the difference when I'm single and when I have a toddler on my hip.

Things are different. My weekends are spent mothering that little human that I've created. I spent time playing with her, bringing her out and do some mother daughter bonding.
Time actually flies when you're out.. well for my case cause my in law place isn't really baby proof and D is super curious that she will touch EVERYTHING! (Itchy fingers and itchy backside cause she can't sit still)

Trust me, I love our weekends like this. But at times, I just wish have a day to myself to do things that I want.. Stuffs like, going for yoga classes, manicure / pedicures, going to hair salon to get my hair done and etc. I'm able to do these "my errands" on weekdays which means that I will need to apply leave.

This year.. a big bulk of my leave went to house renovations. I need to take leave here and there to ensure that delivery is on time, to check out works are done according to our preferences and etc. This leave me with having to think carefully whenever I wanna apply leave to run my own errands.

I just wish that I can split myself into two.

Xoxo
Felicia