Now I know

It's been 20 months since I'm a mother. I have my share of ups and downs... and I'm sure this feeling of motherhood will last me a long long time.. but it's only recently, in fact this week that the meaning of Motherhood hits me hard.

All these while Baby D maybe a stubborn girl but still she is a happy girl.. a bit of reasoning, a bit of bribing, she will still listen to us. But this week, she caught the flu virus bad and it isn't her first time that she caught it.

It was so bad that she had high fever.. the moment baby D has high fever, all she wants is just Mama. I can't leave her sight to make milk nor prepare the medicine. It seems that only my presence can calm her.. my voice can sooth her and my hugs and kisses can heal her.

It is this notation that makes me think that Motherhood is really wonderful. I'm still in awe that this little human being is soo independent and yet so dependant on Mama. How long will baby D be dependant on me till? All these will go away the moment she has grown up. Some day it will reach to point when my voice can't sooth her nor my hugs and kisses has magical kisses.

I may complain that I dun have time for myself and it is tough to juggle between a wife, full time working adult and a mother.

Babies dun keep. I'm just gonna increase my patience level and enjoy this journey!

Xoxoxo
Felicia

Motherhood vs Just Me?

Now that I'm a mother.. I can start to feel the difference when I'm single and when I have a toddler on my hip.

Things are different. My weekends are spent mothering that little human that I've created. I spent time playing with her, bringing her out and do some mother daughter bonding.
Time actually flies when you're out.. well for my case cause my in law place isn't really baby proof and D is super curious that she will touch EVERYTHING! (Itchy fingers and itchy backside cause she can't sit still)

Trust me, I love our weekends like this. But at times, I just wish have a day to myself to do things that I want.. Stuffs like, going for yoga classes, manicure / pedicures, going to hair salon to get my hair done and etc. I'm able to do these "my errands" on weekdays which means that I will need to apply leave.

This year.. a big bulk of my leave went to house renovations. I need to take leave here and there to ensure that delivery is on time, to check out works are done according to our preferences and etc. This leave me with having to think carefully whenever I wanna apply leave to run my own errands.

I just wish that I can split myself into two.

Xoxo
Felicia

1st year as a mother

Today marks my first year as a mother. Guess till one is a mother, you will never forget the day you went into labour. Thank fully for epidural.. I had a almost painless labour.

Our lives has change with her arrival. Yes, there are those days / nights when it's tough. To soothe a cranky baby when you only have a few hours of sleep. To exercise those patience when we don't know what Danielle wants and keep whining and crying.

There those nights where Danielle sleep through the night.. I got a good solid 6 - 8 hours sleep.
And those first milestones that she hits. The first time she calls, Mama and Papa.

And now that we are a parent for 12 months, I think my patience level up abit. My knowledge on Danielle has increased. I know what she likes and don't like. What makes her tickle and laugh. And my hug as her comfort and soothe and ease her pain or fears.

Being a mother for 12 months, I often wonder how can someone so small yet hold my heart to tightly?

This quote is exactly how i feel.. I guess all mothers will feel the same.

Took childcare leave today to spend some time with Danielle and I hope to bring her to the indoor playground to play.

Hopefully her flu is getting better...

Xoxo,

Felicia 

Baby Milestones

Many people has been telling me that after babies pass certain months, things will get better.

Well, it does!! But there are times when I miss the newborn days.. where all they do is eat and sleep!!! *Shiok*

Now that Danielle is almost 7 months old.. she is a joy to watch and she has been hitting all her milestones.. (I'm a proud mama!! ^_~)

Smiling and coooing at us when Danielle is 11 weeks old

By the time she is 3 mths plus, she knows how to smile at us.. though I think she is trying to recongize ppl. Starting to make baby sounds

At 3+ - 4 months old, she knows how to flip over and have tummy time.. and shortly after she knows how to use her arm strength and lift her head up!

By the time she is 5 mths plus, she starts to sleep longer.. and finally she is able to sleep thru the night and only wakes up around 5- 6 am for milk.. 

We start to give her solid food at 5.5mths.. and trust me, she loves food!! Except those Heinz baby food. She hates it!!

At 6 mths old, she start to show signs of teething and is able to sit up without support (for a short while).

I think there is a day where she utter, "ahhh mamama"!!! I heard it and I almost jump for joy!! My baby call me!!!! ^_^v

Now we are waiting for her to start crawling and walking.. 

In just a blink of an eye... my baby has grown so much!!!

Xoxoxo,
A proud mama

Mother - Daughter Bucket List

Come across a blog post awhile ago with the same heading as mine and I thought it's quite fun to have this Mother - Daughter Bucket List.. Cause I thought it would be fun to do stuffs together with Danielle as she grows... It's always a way for us to bond and capture precious memories together..

Mother Daughter Bucket List

• Watch Sunrise / Sunset together

• Develop a family recipe (gotta make sure I learn how to cook!!)

• Have a mother daughter photo shoot

• Have classic / favorite cartoon movie night

• Go to a craft / art class

• Play in the rain

• Explore local places that I’ve never been

• Mother Daughter trip abroad

• Medi / Pedi sessions together

• Have a pampering spa treat

• Visit local museum / local attractions

• Shopping Spree

• Look a baby photos of both of us and reminisce together

I know that the list I have right now.. some might be quite impossible to do it now..

Now this list has no age limit and has no expiry date.. 

This is what being a mother is all about.. it's not just about loving, caring and parenting skills.
I think that bonding my children is the most important.

I would want a tight knitted family where my kids are free to share anything with me yet they are independent. Lets hope........ me and hubs can achieve that!

My day brighter N heart warmer

So looking forward to weekends cause its the only days where I get to spend the most time with Danielle!!

Xoxo,
Felicia

Its finally time!

Yes, its finally time for me to start bringing Danielle out alone.... to TOWN area!!

Yup, before I only dare to venture somewhere nearby our place. Eg, Bukit Panjang Plaza with Dani. Because our pram isn't the one hand fold kind hence it's difficult for me to carry her and close the pram at the same time.

It's till one fine day, I decided to use the ergobaby carrier that my hubby bought when Dani is a newborn. So now I'm hands-free and I am able to close the pram while carry her!

Blumberide - Our compact stroller..

Today was a very good day for me to try out being out with Danielle n myself.

So early morning we went to SBCC for her 6th mth vaccination and after that I hopped onto a cab to ICA building with Danielle to collect her passport. Thankfully I pop Danielle in the carrier, she fall asleep from Gleneagles all the way to ICA. Taxi Uncle was kind enough to help me carry the pram out and I open it and place Dani in her pram for her to sleep...

Chatting with mummy while waiting for her turn to collect her passport.

Collected her passport and I decided to have lunch.. So off we went to take MRT together. Thought that its around lunch time hour, might as well head to Marina Sq cause it seems to be the only mall nearby that won't be so crowded as compared to Raffles City and Bugis.

So I alighted at Cityhall and walk thru the Citylink.... Went up and down via the escalator with Dani safety buckled. Getting the hang of traveling via escalator with Dani in pram cause it's really a pain in the neck to wait for lift only to know that you're unable to enter and have to wait several times. Alot of faster & easier to travel via escalator.

First MRT ride with Mummy!!

Thus far, I think I can manage with going out with her alone. However when we went it, its a weekday so shopping malls are generally less crowded as goes for public transports. So I'm going to try out another time on weekends to see how we can managed!!

I'm so excited to bring Dani out!! Yeah to Mother - Daughter Bonding + Shopping time!! ^_^v

Xoxoxo,
Felicia

Mother's Day off - Comes with a Price.

I often wonder if it's the hot weather recently in SG or my weird hormones in work, I feel frustrated easily.

Simple things that my hubby does, makes me feel annoyed.
Like when I'm supposed to meet him at this work place and when I reach, I couldn't hold get of him. Because he is smoking in some restricted area and the mobile reception is lousy. I get pek chey trying to call him several times.

Or things like whenever I decided to take leave from work to do my own stuffs, he will pop out something and I gotta change my plans because of his suggestion.

Now that I'm a parent to Danielle. My off days usually comes with a price. Why? Because I gotta to pay the nanny extra to look after her on weekends. And I dun get the nanny to look after her every weekends cause it's so precious for me to bond with Danielle. But I'm still Felicia, I still need 10% of my energy and time to be spent on myself.

And I get very pissed off if that off day, I can't get my errands done or things / place I cant go.

I wonder why these people just don't realised that as a mother, it's damn rare for me to have my off day all to myself.

Why can't they just let me go do my yoga, pamper myself with spa, do my hair or nails?

End of my auntie gumbling...

Chasing after your Dreams

Guess as a mother now, I've different sets of priority. Things that was once my basic monthly or half yearly pampering is now an indulgence.

Things like doing my hair, nails, brows and occasionally spa massages. Well, these are my indulgence now cause I can't spare the time to do all these now. If I wanna do my beauty treatments, I gotta find time, take leave from work or place Danielle with her nanny. But I am still thankful that her nanny is always available to help me.. At least I have that 10% time to myself.

Aside all these little beauty treatments that I treat myself.. 1 thing that I've always wanted to do is

TO TRAVEL ALONE!

Yes, so far.. I've only travel alone to states to meet my ex bf. So basically the traveling from Singapore to San Francisco, I'm alone. But to travel and set foot in a country alone, I've yet to do so.

It's my little wishlist that I can do that. I always wanted to go somewhere for 3 week - 6 weeks, immersed myself in the countries' sight and couture. Live like the local ppl do and maybe take some short courses here and there.

See, when I have the time.. I don't have the guts and money to do so. And when I've the money and guts, I can't leave my daughter without her mother for so long.

Source: Pinterest

Guess its always good to live your dreams while you can.. before other commitments tie you down.
And as for me, I guess I can only live my dreams when my daughter is older and maybe if financially and time allows, I might even get my hubs and her along to fulfilled my dreams and my husband too (that's if we are thinking of the same thing along the same line).

Source: Pinterest

Someday... I will be like this picture above.. Sitting in the tub with a glass of sparkling wine in my hand and ponder... that I've achieved my dreams..

It's time for us to dream big and pen it down so that 1 day you can actually strike off and say, I've done what I've dream!! Fighting!!

Have a great week ahead!

Xoxo
Felicia

Too cute for words

 A child is every mother's obsession... so I falls into that category.

Danielle is growing up pretty well.. Hit all her tiny little baby milestones~~ I'm a proud mama when I see her flip over to have tummy time and when she starts holding toys, soft books and her milk bottle!

I will protect you till you're grown and then I will let you fly free. But loving you, that is for always.

Just had a monthly vaccination with her PD at SBCC Gleneagles! Dr Tan gave us the go ahead to feed her baby food!!! Yeah~~

I can't wait to feed her apple pureed!! 

So last weekend, I decided to let her try out Apple Puree.

Seeing her expression, makes me lol!!! I'm such an evil mother...

Tasting the apple puree in her mouth

She gives me this expression cause the apple taste abit sour!! Cuteness overload lah..

Okay, maybe it's just me who finds that my daughter is super cute!!!! Hahahahaha

Now that she starts to eat abit of solid food, it's so much fun! I can't wait to give her pear flavor puree. See if she likes it.

And we bought her to her first swim at BabySpa @ Westgate.

It's damn cute to see babies swim and do you know that babies are naturally a swimmer??!! Plus all babies love being in water!!! I think my girl might be a mermaid in her previous life.. hehehhe

See that she enjoys being in the water soooo much!! 

Its a pity that she can only be in the waters for 20 mins cause it's her first time. Something to do with, wanting the baby to get use to be in water and wearing the neck float.

I'm kinda tempted to sign the package with Babyspa though. They have a 10 session package @ $350.

Well, if I can find a good and cheap 1 hand fold stroller.. I wouldn't mind bringing her to the Babyspa every weekend...

So right now, I'm waiting for Baby Fairs to start. Heard that Aug & Oct there is one coming.

Hoping that they will have vendors selling baby strollers that accept trade ins.

Can't wait to knock off from work and get home asasp to Dani girl..

Xoxoxo,
Felicia 

Babies don't Keep..

A poem from Ruth Hulburt Hamilton depicts motherhood..

To remind me that as a Mother.. I have to place Danielle first and let the rest (unimportant stuffs) go...

Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,Hang out the washing and butter the bread,Sew on a button and make up a bed.Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!
Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).Dishes are waiting and bills are past due(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stewAnd out in the yard there's a hullabalooBut I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep.

Taken when Danielle is around 2 months plus

I do agree that as a new mum.. I'm still trying to balance out my own needs and my baby's needs.

See, I've been me for the past 29 years. All these while, I've been taking care of my own needs and wants.
And now that I've Danielle.. I've to learn to put her needs and wants before myself.

This is something that I have to learn. Cause there are time where I still wish to go holiday alone without her.
(Sounds like I'm a bad mum eh..)

When that little thought cross my mind,  wondering if I can go holiday and leave Danielle with her nanny?? I will take her pictures out and see. See that she has grown so much over the span of 4 months, make me let go of the thought of gg away.

Cause I don't want to miss every milestone and achievement that she has hit. Babies don't keep.

You will always be Daddy's Girl & Mummy's World

Taken when Danielle is 4 and half months old

 Right now, this girl is able to flip over to her tummy and lift up her head high.
Able to hold her own milk bottle (for a little while)
She is also starting to recognize places and people. She knows where is her infant care, her nanny place.
She knows that these places are where we place her in the daytime so that mummy and daddy can go to work.

I felt miserable that her nanny / ah gong / ah ma even daddy is bonding with her much more than me. Esp this whole week cause it's the peak season at office.

Tomorrow is Saturday, decided to forgo yoga this week so that I can spend the weekends with her.

Can't wait to bring her out for walks and spend some bonding time at home! Going to stock up some pictures books and gonna read to her!!

Have a great week!!

Xoxo,
Felicia

During my Maternity Leave

When I'm about to give birth, I planned to take 3.5 months of ML cause I thought that its good to leave 2 weeks of ML for any unforeseen circumstances. However this plan was out cause I give birth 3 weeks earlier than my EDD.

So I end up took 4 months & 3 days of Maternity Leave.

For the 1st month.. its Confinement Period. 

I cater Confinement Food

Those necessary tonics that postpartum ladies has to consume

Looking after this little joy

See how much she has grown...

I still look bloated after giving birth

Yes,  I'm a cow!!! I managed to express about 100 - 150ml of milk.
Now it's a different story.

Means that I can't leave the house, I can't bathe in normal shower water, I can't drink cold drinks nor can I eat normal food.

I can only wear long pants at home... wear bedroom slippers, tie my hair up everyday cause I can't wash my hair. Eat those food that has vinegar and ginger. My only joy?! When I have to bring Danielle back to her PD for review and vaccinations and when I go for my post natal check up.

My confinement month passes by with much difficulties in the beginning but I'm thankful that helping hands was given!!! Super super thankful.

2nd month of maternity leave...

Continue to enjoy my confinement food.

Change my hairstyle and I hate it!

Danielle's full month!!

Ai yo.. Little Miss Botak!

Danielle's gift!!

Her 2nd visit to PD

We invested in Ergobaby carrier

I think she is getting use to her new hairstyle

A selfie with Dani girl

I still prefer this hairstyle

I basically continue to confine at home cause my Danielle is still quite young so we didn't dare to venture out much. Only once in a while.. Though I did have a few days to do my errands cause Hubs has a week of holiday and he gladly helped me to look after baby while I was out!

3rd month of maternity leave...

I decided that 2 months of confining at home is enough. In order to keep my sane... I decided to bring Danielle out. As that time I still have a maid so it's pretty easy for me to bring Danielle out. Just that I need to reach home by 6.30pm. 

Bought her out to Plaza Sing for lunch

Someone is getting abit chubby!

Had movie date night with hubs

I love Dim Sum

Danielle.. not so much but she managed to sleep in the noisy restaurant.

Meet my gf, A for brunch. She is gonna due anytime soon

Dani girl bonding with ah ma

4th month of maternity leave..

Ever since she enter infant care, I buy more of such PJs for Dani

My best purchase from TB. Fisher-Price Seahorse

My smiley baby even when she is having a fever

We admitted her cause her temp reading hit 38.4

By this month, we've sent our maid back for good. And Danielle has started her Infant Care. So weekdays afternoon is free time for me. I managed to do my nails, spa, shopping and even movie time! Meet up with S most of the time cause she has lots of leave to clear. Went for high tea and shopping but it's too bad that each time our shopping trip has to end by 5.30pm - 6pm. Cause I will need to rush back home to fetch Danielle by 6.45pm the latest.

Actually I can fetch her at 7pm but I realised that most parents start to pick their kids up around 6pm - 6.45pm so I don't want Danielle to be the last one to be picked up. I know that kind of feeling when you see all your friends are being pick up by their parents and yours haven't.

The first 2 weeks of May went by fine.. Mid of week of the 3rd week, Danielle has a fever! I tried to nurse her thru the first day and second day, her temp is still running high till the infant care reject her.

Poor girl..

We admitted her in the hospital when her temperature hit 38.4 - 38.7. Stay in for 3D2N. Hospital Bill cost be $2.9K. Thank god, I'm still on maternity leave and luckily I purchase health insurance for Dani girl...

Now she is fine and back to her smiley active self!

And tomorrow I'm gonna resume back work!

Hopefully the transition will be a smooth one! Tough to head back to work after 4 months break.
I can't seems to recall my password for office use... =P

Have a great Sunday!

Xoxoxo,
Felicia